What it Feels Like to be Someone Else

I've heard people say we can never know for certain what it feels like to be someone else.  But is that really true? Is it never possible to know for certain what it feels like to be someone else?

Yesterday, I was with my friend Don for lunch. Don and I go back a long ways and we know each other pretty well.

At one point during our lunch, he said something that was so profound it went completely over my head and I couldn't even begin to fathom what he meant.  I felt lost and stupid.

Then I suddenly realized: "Surely, this is what it feels like to be a politician!"

15 comments:

  1. ZING!!!

    In all seriousness, while we can never truly know what it's like to be another person, imagining (or trying to imagine) with some degree of success is the root of empathy.

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  2. Good point, Ahab. I keep waiting to hear whether or not mirror neurons are the physiological basis of empathy. But so far as I've heard, the jury is still out on that.

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  3. Shared or similar experiences can also lead to a rough understanding, but as you say, it can never be complete.

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  4. I like your way of putting it, Jono. I think there's always a degree of uncertainty there. Our understanding of others always seems rough and approximate.

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  5. Imagine the Right Wing horizons that would open to us if we could only shove our heads up our asses. ...

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  6. BOOM!

    Fortunately for them and unfortunately for us, politicians do not have to listen to or try to understand what anyone else might be experiencing. They look for keywords that launch their rehearsed soundbites. Again.

    I keep trying to sneak up on what it might be like to be one of the evangelicals and/or conservatives I so strongly disagree with. Every time, I feel the tug of a vacuum and fear I am being sucked into a black hole. No exit. Such dangerous fun.

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  7. HA!

    After reading some of the comments in response (particularly Cognitive Dissenter), I've forgotten what I meant to write (other than the HA!). Too funny.

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  8. Cognitive Dissenter and Nance -- Don't do it! There are some things normal humans weren't meant to know!

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  9. I suspect that I have the unique ability to experience this every day. I do not remember my first thirty-four years and yet I am certain that I was there when all of my children were created. I know that I delivered my daughter at home and love her but do not remember much about her. I do not remember walking on to the AR Razorbacks football team or being in in the US Marine Corps or living in Japan or being a rescue diver in scuba. I know a great deal about what this body has done but my brain does not remember ANYTHING normally. I tend to forget things I do now also and this is frustrating.

    I understand what it is like to be lost and confused about why things around happen but hope this does not mean I must become the President, a Congressman or a Senator.

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  10. Try writing fiction. If you are not scared to do it (it can be scary and I have not written fiction lately partly for this reason) you can make yourself feel the narcissistic indignation of a hateful person or the affections of someone whose perspective is antithetical to yours.

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  11. Quote Nance: "I keep trying to sneak up on what it might be like to be one of the evangelicals and/or conservatives I so strongly disagree with. Every time, I feel the tug of a vacuum and fear I am being sucked into a black hole. No exit. Such dangerous fun."

    Nance, I actually do that too! And it feels exactly as you describe -- past a certain point, you feel like you might get sucked into some darkness!

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  12. Curtis, I don't think I've told you this before, but I very much admire you for surviving that car accident and for recovering from it as much as you have. Just so you know.

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  13. Thank you, Sledpress, for shedding light on something I myself will probably never experience. That's to say, I am among those people who have no talent for writing fiction. I can write well enough about things I've seen, but I have tried, and I cannot for the life of me write fiction. Hence, I'm fascinated to learn that when someone writes fiction they can actually feel the emotions of their characters -- characters that are so unlike them!

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  14. Curtis, I don't know your story, but it is evident that you have met some great challenges. Surely, you have suffered enough that no one would ever wish upon you the fate of becoming a politician.

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Comments Welcome -- but no flaming. If you wish, you can email me at paul_sunstone@q.com